With sparkling blue eyes and white-blonde hair, Lana was a beautiful woman. But it was her inner light that attracted her husband, Karim. “She was a star. Just a bright star,” he says.
Marrying in 2009 and welcoming their son, Avery, into the world in 2014, Lana and Karim never imagined their time together would be cut short – or that Lana would spend her final days in hospice care.
Only two years after Avery’s birth, at the age of 35, Lana was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Lana’s treatments were initially effective, putting the cancer in remission. But during a family vacation in 2021, they learned the disease had returned and spread throughout her body. It was end- stage cancer.
Karim had to dig deep for the strength to care for the physical and emotional needs of his dying wife, while parenting his son.
After a few months, Karim realized Lana needed more care than he could provide. Although they’d discussed hospice care before (Lana didn’t want to die in hospital or at home), they assumed it would be expensive.
When Lana’s medical team told Karim about Pilgrims Hospice Society, he was stunned to learn it wouldn’t cost them a penny. It’s a kindness made possible by the generosity of donors like you.
The couple toured the Roozen Family Hospice Centre and were struck by the beauty of the building and warmth of the people. “It was a magical place,” says Karim. Once Lana moved to the hospice centre, she was immediately made more comfortable and quickly settled in.
Here, Lana received specialized round-the-clock care and slept on a ‘cuddle bed’, which expanded to make room for her husband or son to lie with her. This bed could be wheeled outdoors, giving Lana the fresh air and sunshine she craved – making up for the many months she’d been unable to go outside.
“There’s no place we would rather have been,” says Karim.
With Lana in hospice, Karim could simply be her husband again and had greater emotional reserves to parent Avery. He had the option to stay overnight in Lana’s room, but if Karim went home, he knew Pilgrims’ staff and volunteers would take good care of his wife.
Onsite counseling services helped all three members of the family. For Avery, who was still so young, there was a safe place to ask the big questions that can be hard to ask anywhere else. Both Avery and Karim were assured that grief support could continue as long as they needed after Lana’s death.
On a night in early August 2021, Karim finished rubbing Lana’s back and encouraged her to let go. “You don’t have to suffer through this anymore,” he said. “You don’t owe anybody anything. You can go.” Then he kissed her and left to go home.
Fifteen minutes later, he got the call. Lana died just three months after her 40th birthday.
As painful as it was to say goodbye, Karim takes comfort in knowing his wife died peacefully in a loving environment.
Thank you, Lana, Karim and Avery for allowing us to share your story. Although it may seem unusual for someone so young to need hospice care, almost a third of those who spend their final months, weeks or days at the Roozen Family Hospice Centre are under the age of 65.