– By Jesse McElheran

As much as we might understand death to be a natural part of life, many individuals feel uncomfortable with the idea of discussing death, dying, or end-of-life care with their loved ones or even their healthcare teams. We often anticipate that these conversations will at best, be awkward and, at worst, hasten death’s arrival.

Atul Gawande, an American surgeon, author, and health researcher acknowledges how difficult conversations about end-of-life care can be: “There is no natural moment to have these conversations except when a crisis comes and then it’s too late.”

Dr. Gawande began researching end-of-life care while facing his father’s cancer diagnosis and treatment. Despite the fact that he and both of his parents were doctors, they struggled to have open and honest conversations about his father’s care and what he wanted at end-of-life.

Perhaps more surprising is how he describes members of his father’s healthcare team also struggling to face the realities of his father’s cancer diagnosis. In the Frontline documentary “Being Mortal”, Dr. Gawande explores how many physicians feel ill-equipped to have conversations about end-of-life care and will often focus on curative treatment, even when cure is no longer possible. As patients and family members, we often believe that our healthcare team will broach these difficulties conversations with us but the reality is that our doctors are human and many of them may not know how to discuss what matters at the end of life.

At Pilgrims Hospice, we strive to have these challenging conversations in an open, honest, and supportive way. We see no need to fear conversations about end of life. Instead, we believe in their critical importance in giving our loved ones choice surrounding how they want to spend their last days, weeks, and months. These conversations need to happen and organizations like Pilgrims Hospice are here to help. Jesse McElheran, Manager of the Counselling Services and Spiritual Care program, is glad to support individuals, couples, and families as they have these challenging conversations.

Atul Gawande said it best: “I guess the lesson is you can’t always count on the doctor to lead the way. Sometimes the patient has to.” And Pilgrims Hospice is here to help.

To view Dr. Gawande’s Frontline documentary, Being Mortal, click here.